This morning I rode my bike through the rain to see new art. I was wearing an old anorak. As I warmed up in the entrance hall, a force field of sweet berries and marshmallow grew around me. It would have been one thing if I were a young girl, but as a full grown woman who went without breakfast to get there, I was salivating. The edges of Spring felt immediately present and I hadn’t even walked in to see the Art. 

When I got back home I raced to my computer and clicked on google -I needed to know How to Smell This. Yes, the original voice of Spring had been “fine-tuned” to a deluxe air freshener experience and was now released with a designer after its name. I too could have my Art Gallery fix at home.

When it arrived… Really? Spring? Run over twice, hosed off the sidewalk, and siphoned through a machine is more like it.

Even though I knew it was something different to smell the scent in my own cosy home, I felt like I would be tempted to wear it. It smelt light and fruity and pretty in the gallery, like a thousand Springtime flowers. It had taken a while for my budget to make some room for the luxury and for me I felt like I was old enough for my life carry it off. So I had bought a bottle as soon as I could. I don’t generally have a problem with well made fruity florals, but have a huge problem with fragrance companies “reformulating” a season that has nothing to do with the original experience.

My favourite moment was still caught in the gallery entrance door and was nowhere to be found in this version. For me, a large part of my disappointment was that I was expecting a whole different experience. I wanted to dance like a peacock and swim with a tiger just like the art that had lifted my horizon in that room.

I won’t share the name of this upmarket room freshener. You might find it in stores. And right now, you might get lucky on ebay. (shrugs)

This new room spray has notes of neroli, raspberry, tangerine, jasmine, orange blossom, marshmallow, vanilla, heliotrope and sandalwood. Its press release calls it “passionate, sensual, and maternal.” Gone is the heavy-lidded widow lounging in leopard print while clutching an espresso that greeted me in the gallery lobby. In her place is a one hit wonder, lost of ambition after cashing in her first royalty payment.

So, to fill my day with a proper Art show that could feel real to my soul I headed to the London Outernet. Here, the gallery smells of the pavement and the fresh coffee from the temporary Bar Italia pops up. As an intoxicated jelly fish swims past my face (see the javascript below to make your own on Virtual Studio), tell me, who could ask for anything more?

Turns out the coffee i like so much that makes me feel like spring has totally arrived, it’s bespoke and a fuss to get delivered, but now they accept crypto currency. Small changes in eco systems around me means that independent now means getting the most from technology to stay outside any capitalist crashes. So my crush on crypto has turned into a little telegram bot. Click below to join in and watch your fave currency rise and well.. crash. Volatility like this cheap perfume is a story played out here all the same.

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